Love and Romance
I was in a steady relationship for 8 years before I was diagnosed with cancer but for many it can be a lonely, isolating experience. I had a loyal, loving caregiver that stood by me and never left my side, even when it resulted in a PTSD diagnosis for him after my out of left field diagnosis. This is something that I later found out can be a luxury amongst survivors. Apparently, it is common for significant others to leave after a diagnosis, many wait until there is a remission status so they can stave off a little of the guilt but it can be hard for everyone involved when it comes to being a caregiver.. On the flip side, cancer does not make you feel sexy. You often feel weak and struggle with your own inability to do the things you want to do. If you are single when you are diagnosed, it may be hard to go back into the dating scene. It is difficult enough to meet good people when you are 100% healthy. When do you bring up being a survivor? How do you handle the follow-ups and the possibility of reoccurrence? It is a tricky, tricky world and since I have no firsthand experience in it, I will refer it completely to better qualified websites as well as refer everyone to the great book Everything Changes- a superb book about having cancer as a young adult. It deals with real issues in real survivors firsthand accounts. I hope these sites help you in your journey to find love or just a good time.
Dating with Cancer
Finding a common ground through cancer
Cancer Match
A place to meet other cancer survivors
Cancer Survivor Dating
Meeting fellow survivors to see if you have a connection
LGBTQ Dating with Cancer
Finding a common ground through cancer
Out With Cancer
A place to meet other LGBTQ cancer survivors
National LGBT Cancer Project
Connect with other survivors, find resources and support groups all LGBTQ specific
Fertility and Cancer
Another issue I have yet to go through, and according to my Doctor during my treatment I should not have to, but as I have not tried I cannot say for sure. Here are some fertility and adoptions areas. I do not know very much about this area, but there are many support groups out there for men and women who are feeling the effects of treatment in this area of your life. Cancer sucks, the plain and simple of it. You fight your ass off, you do your part and yet cancer never gets the hint and leaves your life alone! The side effects are awful and they can and do have lasting effects on your life.
Lifestrong Fertility
Fertility Assistance for both men and women
Cancer.net Sex and Fertility Articles
Good articles on sex and fertility after cancer
Male Centered Sites
Testicular cancer and fertility
Testicular Cancer Research Center & Fertility
Areas specific to men and fertility as well as general information on fertility
Female Centered Sites
Female cancers and fertility
Perserving your fertility
An online fertility preservation toolkit for patients and their providers
Pregnancy and Cancer
Pregnancy form what I have heard is an amazing experience, and one that many people dream of but when you have cancer or in remission from cancer, it adds a whole other layer of stress, worries, and issues. 1 in 1000 women will face this kind of decision while fighting cancer, so I hope these links allow you to take a bit of a breather and to gain an ally in your fight. Below are a couple of sites for Pregnancy and cancer.
Hope for Two
A Site dedicated to support for pregnant survivors
Infertility Support
The flip side of pregnancy and cancer is the harsh side effects that damage fertility in both men and women. This is why it is vital to speak with your doctors about any future plans you may have. For me it seemed silly to talk about fertility when I was 21, but to my mother it was a big deal. She made sure I would be fine to have kids because that was the furthest thing from my mind. However, not having children is not the end of the world. There is support out there and even other options.
Male Infertility
Information on cancer and male infertility
Adoption and Cancer
The flip side of pregnancy and cancer is the harsh side effects that damage fertility in both men and women. This is why it is vital to speak with your doctors about any future plans you may have. For me it seemed silly to talk about fertility when I was 21, but to my mother it was a big deal. She made sure I would be fine to have kids because that was the furthest thing from my mind. However, not having children is not the end of the world. There is support out there and even other options.
Cancer and Adoption
Links and information on having cancer and adopting
Sex and Cancer
Sex and Cancer has been addressed in several books out there, it is a topic on Stupid Cancer forums as well. However, if you want more, here you go! This is an issue that I did deal with when I was sick. My sex drive was almost nonexistent. I had painful stretch marks all over my body. I could barely get out of bed by myself and there is nothing sexy about not being able to actually PARTICIPATE in sex. :-P I just didn’t have the drive I had before and it took a long, long time to get that drive back. It isn’t the same now as it was but I am thankful it is there at all! :-D So, I can and will talk with you about anything you may be dealing with if I am able.
2Date4Love
Sex and Cancer
Gettin' busy while surviving!
Center for Young Women's Health
Links about fertility, sex and pregnancy after cancer
Facing the Mirror
Meeting fellow survivors to see if you have a connection
Sex After Cancer
A great article about sex after cancer
Sexuality & Cancer
Information and the ability to talk to a health specailist
Gender Specific Links to Sex After Cancer
Oncolink provides gender specific write ups for sex after cancer
Sex After Cancer: Men
Male specific information on sex after cancer
Beauty & Self Image
A hard topic to discuss and come to grips with is your own self image of beauty and worth. Cancer will try and take everything away from you. It will make you feel like a shell of your old self. It may be difficult or impossible to look in the mirror and find beauty, but you are beautiful. Every survivor is beautiful. Men, Women, everyone. Below are a few sites that may help with you towards acceptance that you are truly amazing!
Beauty and Cancer
Learning what makes you feel beautiful
Shop Well with You
clothing information for cancer survivors
Facing the Mirror
Meeting fellow survivors to see if you have a connection
Hats and Caps
I wore a lot of hats and scarves while I was sick and I LOVED them. I found a nice bucket hat and it kept my awful humor in check and making sure I didn’t make people feel bad.
Real life example:
Friend I hadn’t seen in a while “What did you do to your hair??” Me: “I got cancer! Hahahaha!” Friend: *Look of horror and embarrassment.
Good Wishes
Gorgeous scarves/head wraps for cancer survivors
Chemocaps
Hand knitted caps for cancer patients
Wigs
I never wore wigs or any fake hair products during or after my treatment. However, that could be because I am an artist and I relished the half shaved head and dyed the other half pink stripes. It was fun, but I only lost half of my hair so I had that option. I think if wearing a wig helps make you feel more confident that go for it!
